The Elegance of Analogy

I am a huge fan of a little blog called Blank is like Blank. The guy who writes it come up with some seriously hilarious and elegant "metaphors to live by." My only issue is that they are not published nearly enough. They are so good and there hasn't been a new one since January. But then agian I'm not the most consistent blogger so what am I saying. Anyway here is one of the ones I am particularly fond of but please go check out the site because they are all pretty great.

Shopping at Ikea is like returning to therapy:
It feels like the right thing to to do, but then you get there and realize you aren’t adequately emotionally prepared.

[Blank is like Blank]

How Do You Like it Now?

In the pursuit of scientific inquiry, many times we forget about the feelings of those involved. I mean I'm not an animal rights kind of person at all but I could imagine being pretty pissed if I were a rat. This pic combines lol cats and science, who would have though that were ever possible. Good things there. But it does kinda make you think ... why didnt Schrodinger just get in the box. Come on man, sacrifice for science. The mythbusters do it.


I Want to Phat' Dip

Despite the possible innuendo in the title, there is a craze sweeping the nation. Actually its not a craze at all and it is sweeping nothing but the crowds of avid YouTube followers. But its got Tay Zonday and a perfect impersonation of Obama. And its pretty catchy to boot. So check it out. Try the head nod. Its a good head nod song.


I'm a Youtube Star

Not really but one of my friends had a little project recently in which she had to film a chase seen. I was asked to be the superhero that swooped in and saved the day. Naturally, since I am pretty super naturally, I accepted and thus ended up on Youtube. So check it out, fantastic work by the editor, I just had fun running around for two hours on a Saturday. And dont worry I am suggesting new music as we speak. I'm thinking driving with the top down from iron man ... that should do the trick.

Bedtime ... Movie?

We all know that Hollywood has run out of ideas. Case and point, Wargames 2, Mummy 3, and Lion King 1.5. But inadvertently in their desperate search for ideas, they happen to stumble upon some good ones. Go figure. Two of my favorite childhood bedtime stories are being made into movies and both look pretty freaking good. Of courese when you start with something that good, the end result is bound to be pretty ballin. And while there is a purist part of me that says these storys cannot be done justice on the big screen, I cannot wait to see them.

The fist was always a favorite. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Looks like they have added a bit more front story to it and kicked it to 3D. The story looks good, not sure yet how I feel about the 3D. But seeing a pancake flatten a school on the big screen is going to be amazing.

The second is probably the best piece of childrens literature ever written and had captured the hearts of like a bazillion people. (sorry that sentence was getting too cheesy) So excited not only to see Wild Things up on the big screen but to see them in live-action. That is awesome.

They Just Keep Printing ... Crap

So I am always on the lookout for absurd headlines and actually I have a ridiculous amount of them stored up so here are a bunch of headlines, bylines and commentary. In a world where news would rather be entertainment, this really isn't very hard but hey, at least its entertaining.

Anti-Kidnapping Expert From U.S. Kidnapped in Mexico

A well-known U.S. anti-kidnapping expert has fallen victim to Mexico's wave of abductions as unidentified assailants snatched him from a street in the northern city of Saltillo, one of his employers said. [Link]
Sometimes irony is just so sweet you can forget that there was kidnapping involved.

Mom Accused of Selling Newborns for Cosmetic Surgery
A mother in the Belgian tourist haven of Ghent has been accused by her estranged husband of selling her newborn twin boys for more than $13,000 to pay for cosmetic surgery. [Link]
That sounds like an even trade to me. Yet another reminder that humanity is not going down the drain, it did that a long long time ago.

Actor Portraying Suicide Slits Own Throat in Prop Mix-Up

An actor portraying a suicide bid in an Austrian play accidentally slashed his own throat on-stage following a prop mix-up. [Link]
I feel like this is something I would make sure to check before the show. And yet another reason why actors are not to be trusted. (sorry that was an actor-techie joke)

Teen Auctions Virginity to Pay for School, Meet Husband

A teenager is selling her virginity online to pay her college tuition — but she has a long way to go before reaching her target of $73,000. [Link]
Remember what I just said about humanity, just change that to going to hell in a hand basket. And go figure the girl was Romanian, typical. Oh and dont be deceived she was hoping to meet a husband, not she actually did meet her husband. I would pick a better strategy next time.

Police Machine Gun Sent to Grandma in Postal Mix-Up

A grandmother in Britain has told of her terror at opening a parcel she had been expecting - only to find she had been sent a police machine gun. [Link]
Okay first of all, coolest thing ever. Secondly, since when do policemen send their machine guns through the mail? Wait a second, since when did policemen use machine guns? Dont break the law in Brittain, automatic fire is what you will get.

This has been a continuation of the Not Fit for Print series featuring absurd headlines from our trusted news sources.

Hell in a Hand Basket I Tell You

If you needed any further proof that the world was going to hell in a hand basket look no further. Yes this is a post about Twilight and I know I'm overreacting and whatnot. Someone very smart proved to me that they are not the end of humanity just bad literature that appeals to teenage girls. So while I am not a fan of Twilight I am not going to go burn it. But something was brought to my attention that I find slightly unnerving. I mean take a look and pass judgment for yourself. Course they could have meant to do this ... I have seen someone skip church to read it. Creepy. Twilight is not equal to words to live by.

[Totally Looks Like]

Adios Reality

Celebrities can do whatever they want. I dont in any way follow the lives of any of them even though I'm sure watching their pathetic struggle to get a mocha frapachino is entertaining. Granted if I had that kind of power I would defiantly use it. But more for like getting to be the dead guy in and episode of CSI like Swift did. Anyway, saw this clip of Will Ferell crashing some live TV. Insane, there arnt many people who can just walk into a live TV brodcast and have no one stop them. I would have been tazed on live TV is what would have happend. So take a gander.


Pretty ridiculous no? I am impressed to say the least. Impressed might not be the right word but Mark Twain is not around so we can stick with lightning bug for the time being. But of course you cant watch this and not be reminded of good old Brad Paisley. Now there is a stand up celebrity. I wonder what he has to say about all this big shot nonsense ... oh wait, he wrote a song about it. And the video is halarious. I should do a blog on his videos but in the mean time watch this one. Its how music videos should be made. (No embedding allowed, sorry kids, check it out here)


Anarchy in the UK

For those of you who are not crazy like me and remember most lines from most movies, the title of this post actually refers to a line from V for Vendetta. If you havent seen it, you should becuase its a great movie and actually ties into this post rather well. Alrighty then, if you havent heard, Google street view went live in the UK recently and caused a slight uproar. Despite faces and licensplates being blurred and whatnot, everyone was mad that people could be seen doing such things as peeing in public. Anyway the outcry was so loud that it resulted in many of the images being removed. I hope you see the ironey hear but just incase you dont, I think this comic makes it rather apparent.

I mean seriously the UK is the most watched country in the world ... its kinda sick. Even ehe crossing ladys are wired these days. If you are interested in all of this nonsence check out this video. Some guys put it together on the anaversery of cctv in the first city it was used. They set an 8 foot tall alien loose on the city to see how fast the police would respond. Yeah, its funny but then agian, its a little creepy. I am not up in arms yet but if there were cameras following me home from work, you'd better believe I would be.


Lets all Status

This is a continuation of my Status Update:stalkerNET series where we take a look at the absurdity that people's status updates.

is very excited for tonight :)
Thats what she said? ... maybe, no ... alright then

[female] is i did not poke everyone, sorry. thank youuuu
Something about this makes me think that you in fact did poke everyone ... and for those not so familiar with facebook this just sounds wrong

[male] is liking weiner in and around his mouth...
I believe this is from a movie but again, you might run the risk of being misunderstood.

[female] misses the bunnies.
I mean whatever floats your boat I guess.

[male] thinks she is ready to go off the pill.
This would be strange enough if it was a girl saying it but a guy saying it about another girl? I would have some questions about that.

[female] is mother's day was invented because the govt felt bad about abolishing child labor laws.
You people astound me sometimes. Happy Mother's day I guess.

[female] THERE IS A PEACOCK ON MY ROOF. no im not kidding.
"I'm speechless" - Whats that from quick ... celebrity jeopardy you say? Looks like we have a winner. But all seriousness aside, you really shouldn't kid about these things.

[male] has a habbit of falling for Lesbians.
Uh huh, this is one of those things you dont say out loud, or post where all your friends are sure to see it.

And for your viewing pleasure this is a screen shot of an unnamed persons mini-feed ... that is quite a day you have going there buddy, I feel for you. For maximum effect, start reading from the bottom as that is how the chronology works with these things.

And to make it even worse, there was two message from the girl at the bottom saying "check your messages" and "Please turn on your phone." No place is better for an over dramatic breakup for all to see than our good friend facebook.