A True American Hero

A few days ago, a little soul with a dream inspired a nation. It did not run for office, or promise change, it did not make headline news or tabloid racks. No my friends, it did what nothing of its kind had ever done before. And it was great. Yes I am talking about Spacebat. The little critter that could who followed his dreams to the end and died realizing his greatest one. I will not go back and tell his story but you can read it here. It is an awe inspiring tale and this video pays tribute to a true hero. Amidst a world lacking in true passion and bravery, with icons that disappoint, Spacebat is a ray of hope for us all. You will forever occupy are hearts. Godspeed spacebat.



[Gizmodo]

Some News Just Isn't Fit to Print

You know when you are flipping through the morning paper and a story on page ten catches your eye because the title is absolutely ridiculous ... it could just be me. Well I have had several of those come through my reader in the last couple of days so I've decided to start a column (much like the Facebook status one) in which I will highlight these stories. The header and byline will be included for your amusement.

Pagan Prisoners in Britain Granted Right to Carry ‘Magic Wands’
A new ruling has granted pagan inmates in British prisons the right to keep twigs in their cells for use as wands, the U.K.’s Daily Mail newspaper reported Monday.

Apparently this ruling was an attempt to allow inmates to practice any religion. So basically Harry Potter can feel [safe is probably the wrong word] tolerated at both Azcaban and any other jail in the UK. A spokesperson from the jail was quoted saying the ruling sounds "like an April Fools Day joke." My only question is why it made Fox's front page. Think before you print folks, some news just isn't fit to print.

[Fox News]

Thats Low Louis

First of all I have never really understood Louis Vuitton. Granted if I could figure out how to sell something for ten thousand percent of what I paid to make it, I would be opening up shop. I mean I cant understand why someone would pay five thousand dollars for a wallet. What are you going to put in it? I guess you put your daddy's credit card you used to buy it in the front pocket. But people are strange but we haven't even gotten to the people selling the stuff. In the word of Ron White, "How do you sleep at night you f#@%ing prick?" So I would think that when someone uses their brand to help people in Darfur they would thank them for helping to balance their conscience. Clearly the PR department doesn't have a conscience. Here is the basics. Nadia Plesner is an artist and wanted to help Darfur. So she does a campaign where a little starving baby is holding a designer bag and a Paris Hilton dog. Granted the bag is not even a Louis Vuitton pattern, it is just similar ... and all the proceeds goes to charity so its not like she is getting rich quick. So the folks at Louis are now seriously suing her for Intellectual Property infringement. I mean if you ask me, it shouldn't even be considered Intellectual Property when you just slap your logo on a bag. I mean this is ridiculous. How do you sleep at night?

[TorrentFreak]

Somethings Wrong with the World? Lets Make a Sign

Tibet. Bloggers, politicians, athletes ... we are all talking about Tibet. To be painfully honest, since moving to Romania my knowledge of world affairs has decreased relative to the amount of gizmodo I read. Just Kidding. But seriously I keep up with things that are close to me (ie Zimbabwe) and get as much of the rest of the stuff when I can. So I really don't know much about this whole burn China on their torch because of some tomato workers (I believe I'm mixing my human rights crisis). And I'm all for human rights I just wonder how many of these people care and how much we all like to protest. I mean sure I'm all for throwing a molotov cocktail at a dice factory in Mexico but seriously folks. Sure It looks cool to stand next to that lady who's been in front of the White House since like WWII but if you don't know what your talking about, you don't deserve to be heard. This video just kinda illustrates that in our current quest for world happiness.



[The Daily Yeah]

Why I Love America

I guess we found out why Pinky and the Brain are Recruiting. They needed more troops to mount a full scale siege against anyone who tarnished their master's reputation. A newspaper was shut down because of "costs" and "conceptual disagreements" several hours after publishing the story about Putin marrying some gymnast. Interesting how those things seem to coincide. I'm sure if you looked deeper into the issue there would be several hospital reports of broken kneecaps. But you know, how are you supposed to control your people if they here such lies. Makes you have to ... be honest. Sucks. So ya, its stories like this that remind me, even though I sometimes hate the media, how sweet freedom of speech really is. I should move to Russia and start an underground tabloid. I bet it would sell like hotcakes ... or cold porridge, what ever the appropriate figure of speech would be in Russian.

[Fox News]

Because He Can, Thats Why

So there are people in the higher powers of the British government that are questioning why Prince William was allowed to land his helicopter in his girlfriends front yard. Well you know what, he is the Prince ... possibly future king of England, I'm pretty sure he gets to do what he wants. I mean seriously if I had the means to fly a military helicopter to impress my girlfriend (assuming I had one) I'm pretty sure I would do it. This situation reminds me of one of the best works of art of this century.

Stinger: Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash. You've been busted, you lost your qualifications as section leader three times, put in hack twice by me, with a history of high speed passes over five air control towers, and one admiral's daughter!
Goose: Penny Benjamin?
[Maverick shrugs]

This guy knows how to play the game thats all I'm saying. And secondly I would like to know why this is such a big deal. Just another example of how the media uses stupid stuff to fill their papers. As much as I am sorry for a girl getting kidnapped in obscure African country it really has no effect on my life. I am sorry, I'm just getting tired of it. And lastly, to Prince William, your making us all look bad son. I mean guys do have the capacity to pull off pretty impressive stunts now and then but seriously ... not only are you a prince, you fly a helicopter, oh and did I mention ... you could be the next KING OF ENGLAND. Some guys just have it too easy.

[Fox News]

Say What? [Deja Vu]

Being a strong supporter of George W. Bush (wow the last two post just alienated half my possible readers ... I'm on a roll) I have been bombarded by countless people telling me that he cant speak and anyone who sounds like him should not be allowed to lead our nation. I'm actually fairly certain that I received a book of "Bush-isms" one year from Santa. So it is nice to see every once an awhile someone else make a mistake ... and better yet, for someone to catch it. Now I have always been a believer that I am more concerned with what the President does rather than how it sounds in a press conference so I am not criticizing Obama for those mistakes. The first minute or so is just John Stewart being John Stewart but the second minute is what this post is about ... but take a minute, have a laugh.



Sounds to me like Mr. Obama isn't quite sure as to how that magic wand that he seems to have in his pocket actually works. Its a swish and flick motion Barack ... swish and flick.
[The Daily Show 4/17]

The Wrong Team Won

I believe Robert Mugabe is feeling somewhat similar to someone who fixed a horse race and lost. Don't you hate that? You spend all that time and effort into intimidating the opposition and putting on a horse and pony show of an election (so over-rated) and now look ... people actually took you seriously and actually voted. I mean who does that? Clearly it was a formality. So now you have to go about the process of demanding a recount, declaring the opposition an act of treason and blaming it all on the British. Completely ruined the morning. Fortunately the army is already spread across the country for that intimidation factor so it is no trouble to have them start beating people as well.

Zimbabwe is in some serious trouble for those of you who don't know. They need our prayers.

[Fox News]

Pinky and the Brain are Recruiting

An interesting story came to my attention today as I was interneting. Apparently the Kremlin has put in an order for 3,200 mice. Not computer mice mind you, they have to be female and under 18 grams. And to make the story even stranger, the order came from the Kremlin Guard, those scary guys who keep Putin alive. So I suppose the real question is what are they doing with twenty thousand dollars worth of mice? My thoughts ... well clearly The Brain decided to move to a nation thats cool with him taking over the world and is raising an army for Pinky to lead into battle. Also to whoever in the comments thought that they could be preparing for an April Fools joke ... I mean really are you being serious right now? Look into that guys eyes, he would kill you for less than that ...

[Evil Mad Scientist Labs]

On a similar note:

• Some Toys Scare Me [End of the World]
  

Some Toys Scare Me [End of the World]

You know all those movie scenarios where some cleaning guy sees something shiny and accidentally pushes a button that accidentally triggers an unstoppable chain of events which culminates in the total destruction of the planet and everything living on it? I mean that could never happen right? Well things like this make me feel a little less secure in that assumption. The university of Texas has a new toy in their basement ... a really big toy. It is the world most powerful laser that is currently opperational, weighing it at one-petawatt. Ya its got an output of a quadrillion watts. That could make a lot of coffee. What do they intend to do with this deathstar like device you ask? Well they plan to recreate such things as supernovas and things so they can observe them in Texas as opposed to having to go out into space. Well that is admirable and all and I'm sure NASA will thank them considering how much it cost to fill one of their shuttles up at the pump but last time I was in a Science class, I learned that supernovas were quite ... oh I don't know ... explosively desolating. Like creating explosive clouds of radioactive death that would fry an entire planet in an instant and cover an area on a small galaxy. Well as long as they've got a safety on that thing I guess ... whats the worst that could happen? I mean for all its destructive power, it sure is pretty. [via gizmodo via wired]