Status Update: stalkerNet

So I published my Silly Facebook article today and already I have a whole new post of interesting status updates. Its seems I have found a way for people to write my blogs for me. Just like Post Secret. So I'll hold off publishing this for a few days but seriously guys, this is pathetic. It looks like this is going to be an ongoing thing so until I can think of a better name for the you can find this series under Status Update: stalkerNet.

[male] write me a essay for a half zip of shroom.
Usually not good to talk about your drug habits online. I mean you know future employees, the cops in Sweden ... your mom (there are so many mom's on facebook these days its insane).

is i flushed my fish down the toilet today as a f__k you to biology.
I feel PETA might have something to say about this one.

[female] knows gerbil now has a free life.
Seems to have a flair of the one above it. Whats with all the dead pets?

is gayer than ever before.
Now I know this guy is not gay but you know how facebook is. I'm friends with my dead cats first owner (not really) but someone might get the wrong impression. Especially those creepy "I'm just looking for a friend" people.

is screwed.
Short, sweet, and too the point.

[male] is aging.
A very true statement, just rather odd to find on facebook, from an 18 year old.

[female] is very sore.
Couldn't resist ... I mean how can you blame me. So everybody together now: "that's what she said." (go up two updates and repeat)

Be sure to check out the rest of the series.