Chistmas "Down in Africa"

So those of you who know me know that I am really not a big fan of Christmas music. It is over played, played for way to long, and guess what I have heard it all before. I'm going to stop myself there because I have no empty boxes of soap laying around and it could get ugly. So I will digress to share with you some Christmas music that I really did enjoy. This choir from Indiana I believe has put together a rather remarkable arrangement of music that is truly Remixed. Now its worth a chuckle until it gets to the 2 min mark and they drop a musical atom bomb. Lets just say Toto is involved and it is glorious. This is the stuff to get me in the season.

via [Awesomology]

How God Intended Man to Drive

Of course Hollywood gives us an unrealistic picture of how amazing driving can be. I mean no one can get in a car and pull the kind of things they do in the Italian Job. Well I'm pretty sure Ken Block can. I mean I'll be real honest, I'm not a car guy. I dont know how many horsepower the new M6 has got but I do know that this guy knows how its done. Sit back and prepare to be amazed.


Not Fit for Print Roundup

This Edition of Not Fit for Print is going to look a little bit different. While I have taken a break from blogging for the last couple of months, I have not taken a break from filling my "to blog" folder with interesting tidbits. So I thought I would group several funny news stories together where the title really does say it all.

Man Nearly Dies After Lover Carves Heart on His Chest

A Canadian woman has pleaded guilty to stabbing her boyfriend, nearly killing him, in a botched sex game in which he asked her to carve a heart-shaped symbol on his chest. [Link]
I believe botched is an understatement or someone doesn't understand the meaning of the word game.

Rescue Planned for Woman Trapped by Giant Pig

A huge pig called Bruce has trapped a terrified woman in her home in Australia. [Link]
Why would Bruce do such a thing???

OMG, 007! British Spy Agency Recruiting on Facebook

Britain's MI6 foreign intelligence service confirms it's running recruitment ads on Facebook. [Link]

Are you sure its not a middle aged man posing as someone else ... or wait, that might be his job in this particular case.

Pony Falls Into Pool After Getting Drunk on Rotten Apples

A horse in England wandered into a swimming pool after getting drunk on fermented apples Tuesday, the Daily Mail reports. [Link]

I'm gonna have to stop you there sir. No more Apples for you, oh and let me have that saddle, your not ridding home like that.

Snake on a Plane Gives Cabin Crew the Slip

An Air India flight turned into a real-live take on Samuel L. Jackson’s 'Snakes on a Plane,' when a slithery stowaway was spotted under a seat, according to a report from Agence France-Presse. [Link]

Somebody's got to get these motherF#%$ing snakes of this motherF#%$ing plane.

This has been a continuation of the Not Fit for Print series featuring absurd headlines from our trusted news sources.

Kodak Moment? Probably Not

So its the middle of the week and I thought it would be healthy if everyone just smiled. So to help us all achieve this I have a little visual stimuli. This was the subject of a caption contest over at GorillaSushi and while there are probably a million captions that fit, I would prefer just to sit back and marvel at the pure absurdity of it. This is artwork people.

via GorillaSushi

The Big G is Watching You

In an attempt to further distract myself from studying for my impending Spanish test, I thought I would share a little something with you that happened to me yesterday. This particular story actually starts over thanksgiving break while I was doing a little Christmas shopping in the mall. I some how made it out of a department store without the aid of a gas mask when I walked by a little Tea shop. Now I am a big fan of tea. In Prague last year I visited a great little tea house with tons of different teas, I wish we did that here instead of Starbucks. Anywho I was enjoying this tea store in the mall, getting very excited about what all from there I was going to add to my Christmas list, grabbed the brochure and headed on my way. Well here I am a week later sitting at my computer checking my email when low and behold up at the top of my gmail inbox (you know the strip with the adds or news stories or whatnot) is the website of the exact store I had been in. Holy crap google is tracking me to improve its add placement. I mean I even thought, well maybe I mentioned it in an email I sent or something ... yeah, no. So there you go folks, your secrets are now the big G's secrets. Get used to it.

If you were wondering about that store and didnt want to wait for it to pop up in your inbox [Teavana]

Umm, My Row is Missing

So I noticed something funny today as I was flying and it made me wonder. I was on an Airtran flight in aisle 15 and was looking down the row staring at inanimate objects when i realized they were missing one of the signs for an aisle. And then on closer inspection, I realized they were missing an entire aisle all together. Yes ladies and gentlemen, there was absolutely no aisle 13. Now I know this is somewhat of a common occurrence. There is, for example, not many hotels with a 13th floor. Some dont have 13th rooms. And as a general rule, room 666 usually gets left out. And I understand it from a comercial standpoint. Its easier to avoid people complaining about there seat or row or room by just leaving those hot ones off the plans. And maybe its just because I'm not superstitios but I do find it odd. Whats more scary about a row a foot behind you (or in airtrans case, like 6 inches)? We as people find very odd things to be worried about. Perhaps we should think about world hunger as opposed to how unlucky our seat assignment is.


This is one of those videos that is nice to watch and be like, wow that kid probably feels like he wants to die right now. Oh its good to be the one watching other people getting hurt. Have a wonderful Friday everyone. And don't stand in front of anyone who involves gymnastics in their throw in technique.


Saftey First, For the Beer that Is

This is a continuation of the Not Fit for Print series featuring absurd headlines from our trusted news sources.

Australian Man Fined for Buckling Up Beer, Not Child
Australian man has been fined after buckling in a case of beer with a seat belt but leaving a 5-year-old child to sit on the car's floor, police say.

So first of all, I gotta say, this guy has an interesting set of priorities. I mean beer or gasoline is one thing but beer or small child ... not quite the same. I would also like to point out that the 30 pack of beer was strapped into the middle seat in the back ... between two other adults. The kid, with no where else to sit, was on that little lump on the floor. I mean if one guy threw his kid in the back with out a belt so he could keep an eye on the beer, but at least 3 adults are in this car and made the executive decision to boot the kid. I mean hey, at least they didn't put him in the trunk right. And on a side note, this is why I have a distaste for the news. This guy got fined 750 dollars in AUSTRALIA. This has absolutely no effect on my life and if we printed an article about every equally stupid thing humans have done there wouldn't be enough paper left for the sports section. I watch the Daily Show to hear about this kind of thing.

[Fox News]

Suprise, Look Who it Is

Well for the like 3 of you that have your RSS readers pointed my direction this will be a pleasant surprise (I hope). I have decided revive this once flourishing blog to its former glory. Now seeing as I no longer live in Eastern Europe and actually have a social life (okay somewhat of a social life) I will not be able to hold down the 2 posts a day but I would like to try and average 3 or 4 a week. You know, baby steps. My reader's "to blog" folder is quite full so I'll give you a little preview. I've got a ton of Not Fit for Print that I am looking forward to writing about. Also some Facebook statuses, funny videos, you know how I am. Alrighty then, well wish me luck and off we go.

The Things You Wouldn't Blow Up for a Boy

This is a continuation of the Not Fit for Print series featuring absurd headlines from our trusted news sources.

Report: Girls Gang Blows Up Houses Over Boy
A gang of London teenage girls is suspected of destroying three houses
and killing a man with a homemade liquid bomb during an argument over a

Now I have always been first to tell you that high school girls are the devil, what with all the backstabbing, putting Nair in the Shampoo bottle, and baking Ritalin into the cookies. But apparently in London they are taking things to a whole new level. Basically these masterminds of crime poured some sort of liquid bomb concoction (they found the recipe on the internet) into a mailbox of someone trying to steal their man. The police are now out looking for this "girl gang." My heart goes out to London's finest, its probably time to break out the riot gear.

[Fox News]

The Invitation Said Party

We all need a good LOL Cat every now and then and this one struck me as rather humorous. After all we here all about these political parties and while some of them do have obnoxious amounts of confetti and balloons when I turn on c-span it doesn't look like their having all that much fun.


Check out my other LOL Catz favorites.

Status Update: stalkerNet

So I published my Silly Facebook article today and already I have a whole new post of interesting status updates. Its seems I have found a way for people to write my blogs for me. Just like Post Secret. So I'll hold off publishing this for a few days but seriously guys, this is pathetic. It looks like this is going to be an ongoing thing so until I can think of a better name for the you can find this series under Status Update: stalkerNet.

[male] write me a essay for a half zip of shroom.
Usually not good to talk about your drug habits online. I mean you know future employees, the cops in Sweden ... your mom (there are so many mom's on facebook these days its insane).

is i flushed my fish down the toilet today as a f__k you to biology.
I feel PETA might have something to say about this one.

[female] knows gerbil now has a free life.
Seems to have a flair of the one above it. Whats with all the dead pets?

is gayer than ever before.
Now I know this guy is not gay but you know how facebook is. I'm friends with my dead cats first owner (not really) but someone might get the wrong impression. Especially those creepy "I'm just looking for a friend" people.

is screwed.
Short, sweet, and too the point.

[male] is aging.
A very true statement, just rather odd to find on facebook, from an 18 year old.

[female] is very sore.
Couldn't resist ... I mean how can you blame me. So everybody together now: "that's what she said." (go up two updates and repeat)

Be sure to check out the rest of the series.

Do Not Question Tuba Man, He Will Trip You

I've seen this video come up on my reader twice in the last two days. The first time I watched it I was like, wow, nice tuba guy. It was funny but probably not blog worthy. The second time however, I found a new appreciation for the randomness and spontaneity of this act. A guy with a huge shiny copper thing on his shoulder decks a little kid cause he is running around. Gotta love when people do the extraordinary (in this case very similar to punting a cute little cat) with out any warning and someone happens to catch it on film.

[Todays Big Thing]

A Day in the Life of Poo

It has never personally happened to me (no one get any ideas) but I think I can pretty accurately imagine how I would feel if a flaming bag of poop was placed on my doorstep. Yall know how it goes ... old guy comes out, inevitably in his bathrobe and slippers, sees his porch on fire, stomps it out only to realize his poofy white bath slippers are not so white anymore. And the worst part, for him anyways, is you really have no choice. Even if you were quick enough to realize it was poop in a bag you would still have that minor problem of your porch being on fire so you kinda have to stomp it out. I mean I don't know many people who keep a fire extinguisher by their door for these kinds of situations. So anyway I was thinking about this the other day and the thought occurred to me: 'it would be pretty bad to have a burning sack of turd put on your front doorstep, but as bad as that might be, its gotta be worse for the poop.'

Yes you read that last line right. Don't ask me how this thought wormed its way into my consciousness but it did. But humor me for a second. Your life started out being squeezed out into the world through a hole about half your size. You thought you were headed for a nice water slide through the endless city sewer system but that all changed the minute you found yourself in a paper sack. Now that's not so bad you say. Well take a step back, we forgot to mention that you are A TURD. You are the lowest level of the food chain, no one likes you. You smell of rotting eggs, you are a repulsive color and most spices of life try to hide your existence from the world. Your only friends are that one beetle who likes to roll you around and those monkeys (until you figured out they were just using you for ammunition). So where were we ... right, the bag. Then you are inexplicably and suddenly lit on fire! Who does that. So you are in agony burning in this bag when, what do you know, some old guy goes and tries to beat you to death then starts cussing like its your fault. Man it would suck to be poop.

Don't Tell Anyone I Laughed

This made me laugh and it shouldn't have. All I can say is I agree with the title of this comic: A Better Idea.

Xkcd is by far my favorite web comic so you will start seeing more of them posted here.


On a Similar Note:

We Are All Weird, You're Just More Socially Acceptable

I have always been astounded that I get made fun of for random movie trivia and others don't for knowing the weight of North Carolina's second string kicker (when they are not even fans). And no, I'm not a Star Wars geek, or a Treky but this video just makes stick out my chest and go "yeah ... shows you." And get a little sad on the inside at the same time. Check it out.


Some News Just Isn't Fit to Print

You know when you are flipping through the morning paper and a story on page ten catches your eye because the title is absolutely ridiculous ... it could just be me. Well I have had several of those come through my reader in the last couple of days so I've decided to start a column (much like the Facebook status one) in which I will highlight these stories. The header and byline will be included for your amusement.

Pagan Prisoners in Britain Granted Right to Carry ‘Magic Wands’
A new ruling has granted pagan inmates in British prisons the right to keep twigs in their cells for use as wands, the U.K.’s Daily Mail newspaper reported Monday.

Apparently this ruling was an attempt to allow inmates to practice any religion. So basically Harry Potter can feel [safe is probably the wrong word] tolerated at both Azcaban and any other jail in the UK. A spokesperson from the jail was quoted saying the ruling sounds "like an April Fools Day joke." My only question is why it made Fox's front page. Think before you print folks, some news just isn't fit to print.

[Fox News]

Axe Wielding Irishman

This picture is just a guy with an axe trying to get a ride. He is friendly enough right, seems legit.

Well it reminds me of the time that I was walking from the Dublin airport to my hotel with one of my friends. The trek was conciderably farther than we expected it to be so we decided to ask for directions just to see how far it really was. So it was around Christmas time and there was a tree lot on the road and a man standing behind his pickup. Seemed friendly enough. So I ask him if he knows where this hotel is and he comes around to help. He is holding a hatchet in his hand. Seems reasonable, its a tree lot. So we get into it and to make a long story short, he starts waving the hatchet to point us in the right direction (I had to dodge several times) then starts asking us where we are from. He then proceds to tell us the story of when he went to Alabama and met the KKK and how crazy we Americans were. He droped the F bomb about as much as he swung his hatchet. This photo just reminded me of him and I thought I would share that story with you.

[Photo Basement]

A Voice That Sooths the Soul

I am a huge fan of movie previews. At this risk of revealing a rather telling fact about my childhood, I used to go to the movies with friends and we would buy a ticket but then just walk around watching the previews and never actually watch a movie. So needless to say I love the voice over people who can make a stick of butter sound like the force that will cause utter desolation to the human race. There have been a number of viral videos featuring these voice talkers but I have never seen one that seeks to delve into the lives of these people who make us quake in fear over the tooth fairy. They have hopes and ambitions just like the rest of us ... only difference is theirs sound unbelievably cooler.


Best Movie Ever ... No Really

There was once a man who could take down an enemy chopper with nothing more than a shoelace and a couple coconuts, defuse a nuclear bomb using only items found in the janitors closet, and could do literally anything as long as he had his trusty Swiss Army Knife. He was a legend, he was MacGyver. Now I realize I am one of a select few in my generation who know of this makeshift hero, and I owe all my knowledge to Spike TV's summer morning schedule. So why are we talking about this? Well it appears that the creator of the original show has plans for a big budget movie. I can honestly say that I am more excited about this one than any other movie in the making right now. It would be like a Walker Texas Ranger movie. There is some question as to whether they bring back the original actor who played MacGyver or get some new guy. All Ive got to say is that if he doesnt have a mullet, we are going to have problems ... big problems.


Some Things Just Don't Go Together

You know those people who put ketchup on strange food, resulting in a concoction that looks like bodily organs and makes you want to gag. Or those people who just eat mayonnaises sandwiches. Well I suppose this is the redneck way to achieve roughly the same thing ... although now that I think about it ... its got the potential to taste pretty good. Looks a bit like a turd though.

[Photo Basement]

Lord of the LOL Catz

When you take something slightly geeky (ie Lord of the Rings) and add it to something really geeky (ie LOL Catz) ... it makes me laugh. Chuckle in spite of my self really.


On a Similar Note:

Silly Facebook

Facebook is a wonderful tool ... it gives me endless hours of entertainment auto-stalking people. Just kidding, but seriously. People love facebook and facebook loves, well, faces I suppose. But it does have its dark side just like anything else. I've never quite understood the concept behind sharing your blackmail with everyone ... seems rather counter procuctive if you ask me but people do it more often than not so I just sit back and chuckle. So the other day I saw a rather disturbing facebook status (not listed here, it was the morning after prom ... you figure it out) so I decided to save some of my favorites and post them once I had a few. This might be happening again in the future. Now I've taken out the names since people still have the illusion of privacy.

[female] "When life gives you lemons, just say 'F**k the lemons,' and bail."
I tend to be more of a fan of lemonade but I do enjoy the mix and match zen art that seems to pop up every once in a while.

guttin fat hos.
Not really sure what to say about this one other than the kid is from California.

is one tree hill:)
Now that you are no longer required to put the "is" I find it amusing when people refer to themselves as inanimate objects.

[female] is digging to china with [male]. he really keeps me going. in bed.
Inside jokes are usually only funy to those on the inside ... but when they are so off the wall that people mistake you for an Italian conman well lets just say they've gone too far.

[male] is globel warming and all the trees are dying is such a hoax. i laugh when ppl put their trust in the media. if u want 2 kno why it is, message me.
This kids about to get owned. Now I tend to share his sentimants in a more plutonic sence ... I just like how both sides blame the media for being on the other side.

[female] hates [female] and [male] because all they do is do it in the butthole during free period and leave me all by myself becuase i have no other friends.
Says a lot about you I'm afriad ... again with the inside jokes gone wrong.

Why Can't We All Just Be Friends

This screen shot was taken from an episode of Television the other night. What might surprise you that this was an episode of CSI Las Vegas. What was that? But those are the Mythbuster guys you ask? Well you would be completely correct. Yes it seems that our two myth fighting friends have landed what I assume is not there first cameo. They appear midway through the episode when Nick Stokes, the blurry head there in the front, is testing whether or not taser + pepper spray = human combustion. Now I had a rather fond chuckle and they served there cameo role quite well but it made my little mind wonder back to something I used to think about now and then. Why can't all these shows play nice. I mean even if its just all of the crime fighting ones. Charlie Epps fights crime with math in Numb3rs and Dr. Brennan fights crime with her anthropological skills in Bones so why can't they join forces when there is a body burned to a crisp and a secret code involved. Or why cant the boys from the BAU (Criminal Minds) fly down to Las Vegas to help our CSI friends with a serial killer. Or maybe ... just maybe ... somebody could call down to CTU and if Jack Bauer isn't having one of the longest days of his life he could help bring down a terrorist with the team from NCIS. Make a double episode out of it. And so far I've only touched on the crime shows. Why not send Dr. House a star from another show who happens to have a rare diseases ... like when Tony (NCIS) gets sick in the second season I believe it was. There are endless possibilities here. And yes I know, different shows are owned by different people and who is going to get the publicity money whatever. Well they've all got enough shows I'm sure they could work it out. I am always very fond of applying trends in one field to something completely different so here it goes. The world of technology today is all about integration. I think some cooperation would go a long way into creating suspended disbelief. All those shows go on is the same cities so why not. Stop filming in a vacuum. The world is a lot bigger than that.

I Just Wanna Be a Hoodrat

With the recent release of the new Grand Theft Auto series, it seems that crime has escalated ... and gotten a lot younger. A seven year old is being charged with actual grand theft auto because he stole his grandmothers car and went on a joy ride. His commentary on the situation is priceless and I'm sure will go down in interweb history with a certain community in Alabama and their little green men and Bub Rub. Thanks to Stewart for the tip.

On a Similar Note:

Someones Getting Fired

Target is an upstanding company who sells cheap toys, has those slushy things at the entrance, and paints a dog's eye with a bullseye (PETA can not be happy). And I know everyone makes the occasional mistake but as those mistakes are forgivable, they are still funny. Apparently segregation still lives on in Targets web servers because this was posted on their website.

I kinda like the desk ... if only I could find the one for white kids.
[Photo Basement]

And You Wonder Why Russia Scares Me

In the very short life of this blog I feel like Russia has taken up a fair amount of air time ... that is considering I do not make it a habit to let Russia occupy my precious brain space. But alas, one of our faithful readers, Sharon, has tipped me off to this rather troubling video.

Heres the setup: 1) the Red Army used to have a choir of soldiers and musicians. 2) They still have it and their still soviet. 3) There is a rock band from Finland called The Leningrad Cowboys. 4) These cowboys for some reason have fro hat like hair and wear elf shoes for a reason that is escaping me at this point. So what happens when those two prime examples of musical accomplishment get together and choose a classic song which they are sure everyone will love?

Sweet Home Alabama has never sounded ... well more soviet. I mean listen to those choir guys. They are like practically chanting in the most stereotypically Russian fashion that I could ever imagine. And what are those girls doing on stage ... thats a sad excuse for dancing if you ask me. Oh and for you really observant people out there, watch the very end as they pan across the Red Army ... one guy is just a little too into it for the final crescendo.

[To The Point News]

On a Similar Note:

Oh Techno

Having several friends who live in Europe and what have you ... and especially having one who is an aspiring DJ, I have heard my fair share of Techno. Now there are some techno songs that I do enjoy and can appreciate but just like most non-believers, I think its a bit repetitive at times. Well xkcd is a great webcomic and they captured the essence of this feeling that I think we have all felt at one time in our lives.

You gotta admit ... its got some truth to it.

Snake Done Right

As you can probably tell by now I love pranks, videos, whatever that demonstrates clear setup and thought. Sure, seeing someone break dancing in the mall is hilarious but if you put some thought into things they usually turn out better. This video makes me smile inside because I love snake and stop action photography so they have come together to make me happy. This has been circling the interweb so you might have seen it but if not, enjoy.


The Wold Is Awesome

I have featured a few advertisements enjoy and this is no exception. Its just a great little film that makes me sit back and go "hmmmm thats nice." Oh and it also does, you know, what its supposed to do in that I start craving Planet Earth in HD. Not to mention it makes me chuckle a bit. Spacemen singing in space ... how silly.

Its got a little of that Juno soundtrack feel but I guess I can let it slide. Now go forth and love the world.

[The Daily Yeah]

On a Similar Note:

Thats Low Louis

First of all I have never really understood Louis Vuitton. Granted if I could figure out how to sell something for ten thousand percent of what I paid to make it, I would be opening up shop. I mean I cant understand why someone would pay five thousand dollars for a wallet. What are you going to put in it? I guess you put your daddy's credit card you used to buy it in the front pocket. But people are strange but we haven't even gotten to the people selling the stuff. In the word of Ron White, "How do you sleep at night you f#@%ing prick?" So I would think that when someone uses their brand to help people in Darfur they would thank them for helping to balance their conscience. Clearly the PR department doesn't have a conscience. Here is the basics. Nadia Plesner is an artist and wanted to help Darfur. So she does a campaign where a little starving baby is holding a designer bag and a Paris Hilton dog. Granted the bag is not even a Louis Vuitton pattern, it is just similar ... and all the proceeds goes to charity so its not like she is getting rich quick. So the folks at Louis are now seriously suing her for Intellectual Property infringement. I mean if you ask me, it shouldn't even be considered Intellectual Property when you just slap your logo on a bag. I mean this is ridiculous. How do you sleep at night?


You Are Performing That Action Incorectly

I think we have already established that I love LOL Catz ... and I also love facebook. Put them together and you get one friggin sweet picture.

Yours just doing it wrong ... thats all.

The Truth Behind the Fun

We've all been there, sitting at home alone at 2 in the morning wondering why our friends never called. You've already watched the latest movie you downloaded, and have exhausted youtube, so you turn to the only thing left to keep you from sheer boredom: Minesweeper. Yes, yes, we've all played the strategic battle of wits. Man vs. Machine at its finest. You try and out flank, out maneuver, and out think it while it merely generates a sequence of random numbers and tries to dry your eyes out so you can no longer see the board causing you to misfire. But have you ever thought of what you are actually doing? Its quite the violent game. This video I think brings to light a bit of what is truly at stake.

So maybe you will take your calling a bit more seriously next time you punch that little yellow smiley face.


So I saw a poster for this movie in the theater here in Romania and it had absolutely no description as to what it was. Course I had just seen Hitch so I was pretty much up for anything with Will Smith in it ... especially a little Fresh Prince. But I finally saw the preview for it last night and I am very excited. It makes you wonder if there is something about having super powers that makes you either want to become a monk and fill yourself with wisdom to share with small children eating ice cream or fills you with the insatiable urge to dominate the world and everything in it. I mean Heroes has kinda taken this stereotype down a notch because there are so many of them but you still see it. I mean where are the ones who use their powers to bring them the remote or just fly around because they can. Anyway I will be seeing this one.


X Marks the Spot

You know, for having such a bleak outlook on pirates you are well on your way to becoming one: sprung a man from jail, commandeered a ship of the fleet, sailed with a buccaneer crew out of Tortuga, and you're completely obsessed with treasure. -Jack Sparrow

Why is it that we are so obsessed with treasure ... are we really all pirates at heart? (Although I do say traditional piracy has gotten far less glamorous ... more on that later) I watched all of the original Indiana Jones movies the other day in preparation for the fourth coming out. Very excited about the fourth. And it dawned on me that it is exactly the same story as National Treasure. Granted National Treasure figured that if they had a history professor who was able to handle a whip with uncanny precision and be a crack shot, the snobbish critics would cry "that could never happen!" My response (and why I'm so excited about Indiana Jones) is "of course it could never happen ... thats why we put it IN A MOVIE." I swear people, have some suspended disbelief sometimes. So I am glad we get both sides of the coin. But I am digressing from the point at hand. Why is it that we love people who find treasure. I honestly dont know ... maybe their struggles are just a simplified version of our own. Possibly we would rather someone handed us a map and told us where to look for happiness. And we wish there could be spinning blades of death standing in our way instead of a deceptive relationship or a distracting hobby. And I suppose as Mr. Loman found out in "Death of a Salesman," in life, sometimes we confuse seeking with finding ... and is their anything that says that we will ever find anything. I fear this line of thinking will send us down a rabbit hole so I will stop there for today.

Just remember:
Will Turner: That's not true. I am not obsessed with treasure.
Jack Sparrow: Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.

You Are Ledgend

Heres the deal. Get the most epic soundtrack music you can think of ready on your iPod. I'm thinking on the lines of Braveheart or Halo. Probably putting Gladiator in your DVD player is not a bad idea either. Now watch this video.

Now put those ear-buds in, crank the volume, and go do something Legendary.
[Format Magazine via DYH]

Somethings Wrong with the World? Lets Make a Sign

Tibet. Bloggers, politicians, athletes ... we are all talking about Tibet. To be painfully honest, since moving to Romania my knowledge of world affairs has decreased relative to the amount of gizmodo I read. Just Kidding. But seriously I keep up with things that are close to me (ie Zimbabwe) and get as much of the rest of the stuff when I can. So I really don't know much about this whole burn China on their torch because of some tomato workers (I believe I'm mixing my human rights crisis). And I'm all for human rights I just wonder how many of these people care and how much we all like to protest. I mean sure I'm all for throwing a molotov cocktail at a dice factory in Mexico but seriously folks. Sure It looks cool to stand next to that lady who's been in front of the White House since like WWII but if you don't know what your talking about, you don't deserve to be heard. This video just kinda illustrates that in our current quest for world happiness.

[The Daily Yeah]

Breaking: Facebook Chat

This is but a humble blog that has no way to compete with the big boys at Gizmodo or what have you. However, as I do live in Romania, I get a seven hour jump on web updates that people make in the middle of the night. So here is to hoping I am the first review and someone searches it on Google. It is the chatting feature we have all been waiting for. They blogged about it a week or so ago on the official Facebook blog but it wasn't until last night that I got access to it. For me, to be honest, this feature just put my screen name out of commission. It brings together two great services that have no reason to be apart. I don't need to track down someones screen name import it into a separate service and then have to guess at people's handles. This makes it quick and easy and there is nothing that it cant do (so far) with its proven gTalk like interface. Now there are still a few bugs to work out (I do not have 15 friends online at 3:14am) but I think this feature will hugely streamline my social networking. Now I'm not a Facebook worshiper, their status updates did not replace my twitter stream, and I can't put my finger on why this one is different. Anyway, go and clog their servers with lots and lots of chatter.

That Just Happened

Shake and Bake. Anywho, stumbled upon this little video the other day. Pretty freaking amazing. I mean call up the globetrotters cause they need to put this kid on staff. Its gotta be luck right? He has not conquered the space time continuum I hope. Your watching the other team shoot free throws, there is 0.6 seconds on the clock, your down by one, bases are loaded, full count, 4th and goal, instant death ... what do you do. Maybe that is a bit of a stretch but the first two were true.


The Little-Big Leagues ... Or the Big-Little Leagues Rather

So I have an inordinate amount of video in my "to blog" folder and I usually try and only do one a day but it looks like we are going to be breaking that rule for the next few days. And this article was at the bottom of the pile which I meant to write about quite a while ago ... but enough about me (or maybe not). Improv Everywhere has struck again with another fantastic stunt. I wrote a little bit about their Food Court Musical a while back so if you missed that be sure to check it out. This time however they set out to give two little league teams the best game they had ever had. They brought fans, signs and face-paint. Again, I like this mission because of its elaborate setup. They had a jumbotron out there with NBC Sports. And the freaking Goodyear Blimp. How cool is that. Check out the video for an overview of the game. Man I love Improv Everywhere. I was kinda thinking about doing urban tanning here in Oradea but I don't have a crew.

[Improv Everywhere]

A Serious Profession

"I explore the country looking for people who aren't afraid to get dirty—hard-working men and women who earn an honest living doing the kinds of jobs that make civilized life possible for the rest of us." - Mike Rowe

Some people just have jobs that you cannot enjoy. They do things for society and ask nothing in return. Today I feature one of those people. His dedication to his profession is astounding knowing that at the end of the day he has helped everyone but himself. Thank you sir, for what you do.


On a Similar Note:

Why I Love America

I guess we found out why Pinky and the Brain are Recruiting. They needed more troops to mount a full scale siege against anyone who tarnished their master's reputation. A newspaper was shut down because of "costs" and "conceptual disagreements" several hours after publishing the story about Putin marrying some gymnast. Interesting how those things seem to coincide. I'm sure if you looked deeper into the issue there would be several hospital reports of broken kneecaps. But you know, how are you supposed to control your people if they here such lies. Makes you have to ... be honest. Sucks. So ya, its stories like this that remind me, even though I sometimes hate the media, how sweet freedom of speech really is. I should move to Russia and start an underground tabloid. I bet it would sell like hotcakes ... or cold porridge, what ever the appropriate figure of speech would be in Russian.

[Fox News]

Saw That One Coming

So what happens when you try and pull a prank on a ninja ... well bad things happen and you should have known better. I mean your roommate is Asian ... and by the looks of it, training to become a ninja ... or he just has the common sense of a 5 year old.


We Get It

This was a rather humorous comic that I Stumbled Upon the other day. Yes ... I know its bad when math jokes make me laugh but whatever floats your boat right? Take it or leave it folks, and remember ... whatever you do, don't divide by zero. Unless your Chuck Norris that is.[Not From Concentrate]

Because He Can, Thats Why

So there are people in the higher powers of the British government that are questioning why Prince William was allowed to land his helicopter in his girlfriends front yard. Well you know what, he is the Prince ... possibly future king of England, I'm pretty sure he gets to do what he wants. I mean seriously if I had the means to fly a military helicopter to impress my girlfriend (assuming I had one) I'm pretty sure I would do it. This situation reminds me of one of the best works of art of this century.

Stinger: Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash. You've been busted, you lost your qualifications as section leader three times, put in hack twice by me, with a history of high speed passes over five air control towers, and one admiral's daughter!
Goose: Penny Benjamin?
[Maverick shrugs]

This guy knows how to play the game thats all I'm saying. And secondly I would like to know why this is such a big deal. Just another example of how the media uses stupid stuff to fill their papers. As much as I am sorry for a girl getting kidnapped in obscure African country it really has no effect on my life. I am sorry, I'm just getting tired of it. And lastly, to Prince William, your making us all look bad son. I mean guys do have the capacity to pull off pretty impressive stunts now and then but seriously ... not only are you a prince, you fly a helicopter, oh and did I mention ... you could be the next KING OF ENGLAND. Some guys just have it too easy.

[Fox News]

This Kid Eats Pain for Breakfast

Okay I legit feel bad for this fine specimen of humanity. I mean eventually he will make millions being the godfather of an organized crime syndicate so powerful that movies will be made with him burning people alive in the opening scene. But right now this kid really doesn't have much going for him. Somehow I don't think he knows how to throw his weight around ... and he certainly has enough of it. So kid, if you make it through middle school ... my hat is off to you.

[Word to Your]

Another Fish in the Sea

Just remember that if you are one in a million there are 6,602 other people just like you.

I was cruising the internet looking for stuff to blog about and was frustrated by how friggin repetitive it is. And how many blogs there are. I swear I think I saw the RC Car playing the Mario theme song on five different blogs in an hour. Now this phenomenon I believe is referred to as the "echo-chamber." So what am I doing? I mean I've had a few posts about things I have observed in Romania but other than that I am just another wall for the echo to perpetuate. And this brings us to the larger problem of why do we blog. I mean everyone and their mother blogs. But then I was reminded of a thought I had about theater and how sometimes it is as much for the performer as it is for the audience. This is really just me thinking out loud. The 49th Pensieve is really a place for me to take what is redundant and spin it. One of my favorite memories of high school was when I read the morning announcements in such a way that I got reprimanded by the principle. So here is to me making the interesting stuff quirky.

Say What? [Deja Vu]

Being a strong supporter of George W. Bush (wow the last two post just alienated half my possible readers ... I'm on a roll) I have been bombarded by countless people telling me that he cant speak and anyone who sounds like him should not be allowed to lead our nation. I'm actually fairly certain that I received a book of "Bush-isms" one year from Santa. So it is nice to see every once an awhile someone else make a mistake ... and better yet, for someone to catch it. Now I have always been a believer that I am more concerned with what the President does rather than how it sounds in a press conference so I am not criticizing Obama for those mistakes. The first minute or so is just John Stewart being John Stewart but the second minute is what this post is about ... but take a minute, have a laugh.

Sounds to me like Mr. Obama isn't quite sure as to how that magic wand that he seems to have in his pocket actually works. Its a swish and flick motion Barack ... swish and flick.
[The Daily Show 4/17]

Hi, I'm a Ninja [Tech Time]

I am a bit of a technology nerd if you haven't figured that out already. And one of the hazards of that particular field is ending up behind a giant wall that is your operating system and throwing insults at the opposing camp. So yes ... I pledge allegiance to the little four colors of the Microsoft flag. And yes, I love to hate apple. I stumbled upon this little comparison the other day and thought it was original enough to share with you. I've always wanted to be a ninja.I know that is a little small but follow the link to see a more legible version.

Best Fanboy Tattoo Ever

Okay so I am a serious fan of Tay Zonday. Maybe that was a bit much. Take two: I love Tay Zonday's music and could probably watch the Cherry Chocolate Rain commercial 25 times a day. But someone out there is following in the footsteps of the Zune Guy and got a tattoo of Tay with the famous line from the original Chocolate Rain. Check it out.
I applaud who ever is the crazy dude who had this put on his arm ... somehow I doubt you remember the experience. Personally, I'd probably go with the Zune tat cause their logo is pretty sweet. Anyway for those of you who have never heard the melodious magic that is Tay Zonday ... I decided to add my favorite video of his for your enjoyment. I would probably sell my soul to sound like him ... just kidding ... but seriously. Also check out his cover of Swing Low Sweet Chariot [link]. His voice was made to sing that song.

[Photo Basement]

On a Similar Note (good advertising):

The Wrong Team Won

I believe Robert Mugabe is feeling somewhat similar to someone who fixed a horse race and lost. Don't you hate that? You spend all that time and effort into intimidating the opposition and putting on a horse and pony show of an election (so over-rated) and now look ... people actually took you seriously and actually voted. I mean who does that? Clearly it was a formality. So now you have to go about the process of demanding a recount, declaring the opposition an act of treason and blaming it all on the British. Completely ruined the morning. Fortunately the army is already spread across the country for that intimidation factor so it is no trouble to have them start beating people as well.

Zimbabwe is in some serious trouble for those of you who don't know. They need our prayers.

[Fox News]

BMW V8 [Its a Guy Thing]

Everyone loves a good V8. Chainsaws, pickups ... hell, I'd put one in a screw gun if I got the chance. I mean I'm not even a car kind of guy. Sure, someone usually has to tell me my mouth is hanging open whenever an Enzo drives by. And nothing will ever beat Top Gear's bit on that old Toyota pickup. But having driven a Ford Tempo most of my driving life, I know how good it feels to step down on a V8 and feel like you could pull a building down ... or actually pull one down, whatever the case may be. All of this is to say BMW just came out with M3 with a V8 engine. Now normally that would not concern me however the guys down in their marketing department are geniuses. This is what commercials should be like:

Keep in mind that there are no computer generated effects in that video. Absolutely amazing. And the geek in me goes, "that was shot at 10,000 frames per second!!!" And the Tim the Tool-Man Taylor in me ... well he grunts.
[Autoblog via DYH]

Pinky and the Brain are Recruiting

An interesting story came to my attention today as I was interneting. Apparently the Kremlin has put in an order for 3,200 mice. Not computer mice mind you, they have to be female and under 18 grams. And to make the story even stranger, the order came from the Kremlin Guard, those scary guys who keep Putin alive. So I suppose the real question is what are they doing with twenty thousand dollars worth of mice? My thoughts ... well clearly The Brain decided to move to a nation thats cool with him taking over the world and is raising an army for Pinky to lead into battle. Also to whoever in the comments thought that they could be preparing for an April Fools joke ... I mean really are you being serious right now? Look into that guys eyes, he would kill you for less than that ...

[Evil Mad Scientist Labs]

On a similar note:

Flipbook Animation

If I could draw I might consider wasting an afternoon creating a little flip book animation with a pad of post-its. That would be pretty impressive for my talent. However this dude created a flip book of wonder ... my hat is off to you ... whoever you are and may you have enough free time to get board enough to make another one.


Then End of My Online Reputation

Because I have an all but legendary online reputation with thousands of twitter followers, a strong name in gizmodo comment forums and not to mention one fastest growing blogs on the internet, todays web news concerns me greatly. I mean after all sparkplug49 is just about as well known as axxo. So today I found out that is about to make a full transition to the domain ... ya I am now associated with stay at home moms. Of course for those of you who believed all this shenanigans at the beginning of this post, I am sorry, I was being facetious ... now get your ass out of the shuttle. But seriously, I was already thinking about starting afresh so I could build an online reputation off of something that was not my middle school nickname ... we shall see how that works out. [Problogger]

Your Moment of LOL Catz

Yes I am a geek and yes I love LOL Catz so when I come across one that I find particularly interesting I will post it. This one peaked my interest because I love to knock on middle school dances seeing as I stood on the far wall with the best of them pretending to be keenly interested in my cookie because I didn't want to dance.

[via I Can Has Cheez Burger]

Have a Laugh

There is something about people dressed up as abnormally large furry animals hurting themselves that will always be funny. It makes me sad that the Rockets bear takes most of this reel. Music choice = perfection. Enjoy. [via Todays Big Thing]

Some Toys Scare Me [End of the World]

You know all those movie scenarios where some cleaning guy sees something shiny and accidentally pushes a button that accidentally triggers an unstoppable chain of events which culminates in the total destruction of the planet and everything living on it? I mean that could never happen right? Well things like this make me feel a little less secure in that assumption. The university of Texas has a new toy in their basement ... a really big toy. It is the world most powerful laser that is currently opperational, weighing it at one-petawatt. Ya its got an output of a quadrillion watts. That could make a lot of coffee. What do they intend to do with this deathstar like device you ask? Well they plan to recreate such things as supernovas and things so they can observe them in Texas as opposed to having to go out into space. Well that is admirable and all and I'm sure NASA will thank them considering how much it cost to fill one of their shuttles up at the pump but last time I was in a Science class, I learned that supernovas were quite ... oh I don't know ... explosively desolating. Like creating explosive clouds of radioactive death that would fry an entire planet in an instant and cover an area on a small galaxy. Well as long as they've got a safety on that thing I guess ... whats the worst that could happen? I mean for all its destructive power, it sure is pretty. [via gizmodo via wired]


I would like to take this time to take a deep breath as we celebrate a big milestone for this, but humble, little blog. We have our first subscriber. That is really very exciting ... I dont think I've ever had anyone subscribe to a blog I've written before. So thanks and congratulations go out to one Sharon Solomon. One day when this blog is bigger than gawker media, you will look back and say ... ya ... I read that one. Oh and as to your comment ... there will be more webclips but I haven't had time to read my feeds in like 2 weeks so I got nothing but original stuff to write about ... alrighty then ... time to get back to work.

The Invasion of Hungary

I was driving to Budapest the other day and had a rather unique experiance. I have never thought of Hungary as a particularly militaristic nation. I mean you have the North Koreans with their nukes and whatever and I mean even Switzerland, for all its neutrality, has a pretty scary police force. Well I'm peacefully making my way down E60 when a helicopter flies over an open field and drops no less than ten men with parachutes. Course it looked like they were flying low enough that the chutes were more of just a precaution than anything but at the same time it was a little bit strange ... I mean is Costa Rica making a preemptive strike to expand their empire? I suppose only time will tell.

I Found Elvis

You know how Tupac is hanging out in some Burger King Arizona well I found Elvis. No he was not making money in Elvis look alike contests in Sin City. No he is doing birthday parties in Prague. Thats right. My mother and I were having a lovely dinner in the capital of the Czech Republic when, out of no where, Elvis walks in and starts throwing it down for this dude's birthday. It was pretty fantastic I'm not going to lie. Don't believe me, check out the pics.

The Pigs Have Transformed

So if you are fortunate to attend STS at the Church of the Apostles and have been doing so for about a year or so now, you will remember the salt and pepper shakers in the shape of two pigs. Long story but this article will make little to no sence to those who do not remember the pigs so I'm not going to explain it ... if you think you might remember ... you dont. If you were there or were a part of it, you will remember. So moving on, there is a car that parks outside our office on a regular basis here in Romania with an interesting decal that reminds me of said pigs. And this is not a sticker mind you, it is a legit metal/plastic thing ... might as well be a Honda symbol. As this article is very vague and ambiguous I think the picture will make it all relatively clear to you. Next time STS does a purity series: rabbits are this year's pigs.

A Three Dacia Pile-up

So driving in Romania is a very life threatening adventure. Although you really don't see that many accidents which is odd seeing as people don't know how to drive and have very short tempers. So the other day the most ironically beautiful thing happened, and it happened right outside our office window. One Dacia ran into another Dacia, which in turn hit a third. Now if you have ever been to Romania you know how much people love their Dacia's ... its the only Romanian brand of car. And the most perfect thing about this whole situation is the most stereotypical Romanian caused the accident in one of the most stereotypical Dacia's. Thats his mug there on the left. Gotta love the irony folks, sometimes it just doesnt get any better. [Flickr]

I Like God do not Play with Dice

So I was streaming the Church of the Apostles to my lovely office here in Oradea, Romania today. Very good sermon about Thomas and being a pessimist and what have you. So during the service Doc Y makes one of his pastor jokes about the pessimist who, on his grave stone, writes "I Told You I was Sick." Cute, not hilarious, but cut him some slack, he's a pastor. And of course Mark Miller wrapped it up with one of his famous last songs. So after the service I am checking emails and my reader before I head home. I'm about to wrap up as I look through some newly added wallpapers to Social Wallpaper I see this that had been uploaded sometime in the last 3 days I assume.

Very strange ... Oh and by the way, the title is a partial quote from V for Vendetta ... which is also strange since someone showed up yesterday wearing a guy fawks mask ... this could be bad. [scowall]

Food Court Musical

Recently Improv Everywhere executed a brilliant, if a bit uncharacteristic, mission in an unsuspecting mall food court. Personally I think it is one of the best missions they have ever done. To me, pranks that are thought out and planned with elaborate setup are far better than just your typical run of the mill coating toothbrushes with pepper or what have you. That last sentence seems a bit obvious now that I reread it but I would like to encourage some thought into any upcoming pranks ... not as good as The Game perhaps but I'm sure we'll think of something. I am however a huge fan of Improv Everywhere and love everything they've done ... looks like we will be starting a chapter in Waco next year ... I'm sure that will go over well. [Improv Everywhere]

Possible Copyright Infringement

Screenshot from a laptop (that may or may not be mine) the other day:

The RIAA would not be happy. [Flickr]

Welcome to the Greatest Show on Earth

Hey Kids, welcome to the blog. I guess I felt like it should have some kind of first post instead of just jumping right to random thoughts that have fluttered across my mind. Ive had several blogs in time and none of them have really stuck ... so here is to this one. I went back and read some of my old ones and enjoyed them so here we stand, at the beginning of a new blog. I dont suppose i can break a bottle of champagne on my computer monitor for good luck and I doubt by the time anyone actually reads this blog will they see this post so lets just get right to it.